Fart Gallery

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*The following is a true, but slightly embellished account of one visit to the Art Gallery.

The distinct sound of flatulence could be heard throughout the gallery, bouncing off hard floors and reverberating off statues and paintings.

“Oh dear”, she murmured.

Her cautionary explanation as to why flash photography wasn’t to be used in the gallery was immediately pinched off as her bowels fought to be heard. As she readied herself for a hasty retreat, a sound similar to the ripping of thick corrugated cardboard was heard.

“Oh my”, she mumbled again.

I turned to my friend with a look of, ‘..is this happening?’. All thoughts of photographing anything escaping from my mind like a turtle head escapes it’s shell.

Again an unmistakable sound akin to a wet plastic bag being slapped around in the wind resounded throughout the gallery space, her escape not as swift as her internal protests.
“Oh goodness”, she stammered, as the battle between bowels and dignity was decided with one last trumpet call.
The ever so stoic expressions of the sculptures and paintings held their facade as ours cracked silently from to holding onto the pressure of the odd occurrence.
No flash photography was used in the gallery throughout the duration of the visit..

For more images from my analogue outings, check out my Instagram gallery @backwater_beat by clicking here.

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